I’ve always felt the idea of posting a big list of “RULES” on your Twitch page seemed gratuitous and unnecessary.

Surely,” my naïve self said “that people are basically good and know how to be decent to one another.

Of course,” my naïve self continued in blissful ignorance “no one would go through the trouble to create a Twitch account just to visit fledging streamers and harass their channel. That would be ridiculous!!! I don’t need to have RULES. Bah.

Well either I’ve gotten big enough as a channel to be noticed by trolls, my naïve self was really stupid, or the internet is not a very friendly place after all. Or more likely, it’s a combination of all three as in the last week I find my stream besieged by folks that seem intent on entering the chat and immediately talking about genitalia.

One of these fine fellows entered chat and had the temerity to say that my mustache was larger than his manly parts…can you imagine the GALL!?!? HE DIDN’T EVEN MENTION MY MAGNIFICENT BEARD! How utterly rude! Obviously, I banned him right away.

So with the new found revelation of the existence of a rude part of the internet, I have decided that perhaps I need something akin to a LIST OF RULES. However, because I absolutely believe in FREEDOM, my rules will not tell you what you can’t do. Pappa Beren will not be responsible for the restriction of anyone’s personal liberties. No sir. They don’t pay me enough to do that. So, without further ado, here is my LIST OF FREEDOMS.

#1) You have the ABSOLUTE FREEDOM to come into my channel and swear, call people names, make reference to yours or others genitalia, make racist, sexist, or homophobic comments or just generally be a jerk.

Go for it and have fun for the 5 seconds it takes for a mod or myself to exercise OUR FREEDOM and click the ban button. You will be banished to the land of wind and ghosts and never be heard from again. I have to admit I don’t understand the motivation for doing such things. To be honest 99.99% of the time my stream is about having a good time and laughing at me playing horribly, I mean my chat trolls me all the time for being horrible, that’s part of the charm. There’s plenty to make fun of and if you stick around and assimilate into our little group YOU could be part of that. But again, I’m not here to tell you how to live your live. You do you. Just don’t acted shocked when there’s a response.

#2) You have the ABSOLUTE FREEDOM to come in and back-seat game.

I understand the frustration of watching someone playing a game horribly. I understand this, because I am often the one that’s playing horribly. Again, part of my streams charm (I hope) is that I KNOW I’m bad. I’m not angling for any professional gaming position. I’m just looking to have fun and spread some positivity and if I REALLY get stuck on something I promise I will ask the stream for help. Cross my heart and hope to die. But, if you MUST exercise this freedom in the absence of that request for help, I will exercise MY FREEDOM and ask you to stop and if you keep exercising your freedom in this manner, I will probably ask you to leave. No disrespect, but there are other people in the stream and you might be ruining it for them. This also includes SPOILERS, FYI.

#3) You have the ABSOLUTE FREEDOM to discuss your age. Please note two things:

A) My channel is NC-17, meaning Twitch has some pretty specific thoughts about who can and who cannot be in my channel. If you are underage, you gotta go. Nothing personal. I just like streaming and want to keep doing it. If you do not like this policy, you have the freedom to discuss it with Twitch.

B) You have the freedom to ask other people their age, but that’s just kinda creepy. and tinder are just down the hall on your left. You have the freedom to go there and ask those kind of questions. I will probably exercise my freedom and suggest you go to those sites.

#4) You have the ABSOLUTE FREEDOM to come into my channel and start discussing YOUR channel and how awesome it is and how much better it is than mine and how you’re going to be streaming an amazing game in an hour.

You can do this, but it probably won’t be received very well. I’m all about community and building community and building relationship (ask RagedScavenger) but I have to admit that I don’t believe infiltrating someone’s stream and brutishly trying to self-promote is the best way to create community. Besides, why would you waste your time trying to do that in my piddling little channel? There are much larger channels with way more people watching that would be a better use of your time.

#5) You have the ABSOLUTE FREEDOM to post links and spam them.

But be warned, I’ve already exercised my freedom to set up Nightbot to block links and time out spammers.

#6) You have the ABSOLUTE FREEDOM to ask for a raid or be a mod.

Again, I’m all about the community, but I believe in etiquette and deplore rudeness. I suppose I’m just old school and believe that if you invest in something with time and positive interaction, that behavior (aside from being its own reward) will be probably be rewarded by the community you invest in. Also, not to be a broken record, but I’m small time potatoes. There are bigger channels that you could ask.


That I think covers pretty much everything. The gist is this.

  • You can do whatever you want.
  • I don’t really like rudeness.
  • I will react accordingly.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you did. That’s pretty awesome of you! See you in the stream.


3 Replies to “LIST OF FREEDOMS”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *